All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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