i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
