take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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