Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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