I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
