I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
