Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
