You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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