Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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