Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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