So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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