I wish I could punch you in the face.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize