his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
