if you like me you must not know who I am
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
