just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
