there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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