you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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