is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I will die if light touches me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
