I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
