ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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