bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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