Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
