Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
