Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You don't make any sense
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