So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
