69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
