obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
