She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
