Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
