Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
