Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
