Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
