Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
