Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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