i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
