After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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