the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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