Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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