Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
