Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
