office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
