what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
