i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize