I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
last night I used snow as a chaser
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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