I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i wish my penis had a tongue
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
tell me about the fingering
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
