Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
