Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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