I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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