Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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