I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize