I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
