Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
