Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
