WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
