i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
