I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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