Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
