Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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