I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
