I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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