I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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