Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
