Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
