I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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