I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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