I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
