Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you win again, gameday.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
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